A VISIT TO THE LIBRARY

One of my fondest memories as a child is visiting our municipal library, choosing a selection of books to read, stories that would allow me to escape my everyday world, a world where I felt safe, a world where life was perfect and the characters never left me.

Is this not what we all do, living other people’s stories, escaping our own reality, our own story waiting for us to live. How many years do we waste, searching for the perfect picture of what we believe our lives should be like. We enjoy and read the stories written by renowned authors, whilst we miss out on the best story written by the one and only YOU! We search for happy moments in books, page by page we invest in what believe a best seller is, we read a romantic novel and measure our love life against the butterflies it gives us.

I visited the libraries of my heart over the past few years, writing the chapters of my life, some exciting, others dull & ordinary, some really heartbreaking and most of the time fighting for survival, but what I did learn, is to always turn the page, and to never get stuck on a bad chapter in my life, to keep on writing, because I do believe in Happily ever After. Come journey with me, I am ready to share my story called, In search of Cornelius with you and to discover with me who I was always meant to be.

Let's rewind to the year 1971, my mom and dad, excited to welcome the new addition to the family. They were hoping to welcome a little boy after having 3 girls already. My name was chosen and I would carry the family name of my oupa, Cornelius Gerhardus, what an honour awaited me. I was born on the 22 April 1971, BUT turned out my parents was destined to have a family of only girls, YES, I was born a girl. I had an extremely happy childhood, with the best parents a child could ask for, and even thought I knew that my parents loved me very much, I was aware of the fact that they wanted a little boy. I somehow took responsibility and felt guilty for not being a little boy. So for most of what I can remember I followed my dad like a shadow, trying to be that little boy for him. Working with him in the garage, learning to braai, going to boxing matches with him , trying to fit into a mould, trying to be someone you are not? Allowing society and external forces to determine your identity? So I was faced with the question, Who am I? Who is Cornelius? So this is where the search began, the search for my true identity of who God created me to be. I was just a little girl wanting to be loved. I complicated life for myself with what I thought I should have been. I have always been loved, it was me who thought that I needed to be something or someone else for me to be loved. I am Corneli Gerdi Willemse, proud to be a woman and proud to say I am a mother, a daughter, a sister and friend.

Don't go too far, don't miss out on any of the chapters to follow.