PAUSE, REWIND .... LET GO

As you would have noticed, I have been very quiet on my blog, in fact I have come to a full STOP in writing my chapters the past couple of months.  It is ok to sometimes PAUSE and take a moment to find yourself in these chapters, but it is never ok to just STOP!  I realise that I need to re-visit certain chapters in my life, unresolved chapters which I thought I have dealt with and closed.   

I am going to re-wind to one of the chapters which I know is holding me back from turning the pages to what I believe is the happy chapters.    

What is Forgiveness?

Inhale ….. Exhale – Let go – open your heart, a New Life awaits!  How much more precious time do you want to spend on re-living the past, a past that no longer defines you, that no longer serves you.  Set yourself free from what was and live for what GOD has purposed your life for. 

Like a butterfly, gentle, beautiful yet strong, we rest in the palm of God’s hand, SAFE, LOVED & CHERISHED ready to take flight, at the right moment, at the time planned for us, as long as we trust in God’s timing, we will live a life beautiful and free.  Do not allow unforgiveness to hold you back, to steal the blessings waiting for you, a New Life transformed from being captive to being free.   

Forgiveness is generally defined in psychological terms as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or anger toward a person or group who has harmed you. The fact that they may not actually deserve your forgiveness is irrelevant.

Just as important as defining what forgiveness is, though, is understanding what forgiveness is not. Experts agree that when you forgive, you should not gloss over or deny the seriousness of an offence committed against you. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offences. Though forgiveness can help repair a damaged relationship, it doesn’t obligate you to reconcile with the person who harmed you or release them from accountability.

Instead, forgiveness brings the forgiver peace of mind and frees him or her from corrosive anger. It involves letting go of deeply held negative feelings. In that way, it empowers you to recognize the pain you suffered without letting that pain define you, enabling you to heal and move on with your life.

Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.

— Martin Luther King Jr.

Forgive Them ~ A Poem

Forgive those who insult you,

Who try to bring you down.

They may think they are funny

But you’ve never trusted clowns.

If someone strikes you in the face

Offer them the other cheek.

Forgive them for their anger,

It just proves that they are weak.

Forgive the ones who cheat you,

The scammers and the thieves.

Could it be nature or nurture

That they lie and deceive?

Maybe someone forsakes your love

And breaks your lonely heart.

Forgive them for their fickleness,

It’s better that you part.

— Oscar Wilde

This is the part where I want you to be brave, to open the wounds of unforgiveness.  Make a list of all the people, places & events that hurt you and harmed you.  If one of those listed is YOU, know that you are safe, waiting in God’s hands, He\s got YOU!

For today, choose a person, place or event you want to write to.  Below is a few guidelines as how to write the letter.

THE PURPOSE OF A FORGIVENESS LETTER

Before you start writing your forgiveness letter, there are a few things you should take into consideration. It is important to give yourself time to reflect on your feelings and emotions, and to consider the recipient's perspective and feelings as well. Here is a few steps to help you prepare:

Reflecting on Your Feelings and Emotions

Take some time to yourself to reflect on how you feel about the situation. This can involve journaling, talking to a trusted friend or therapist, or simply allowing yourself to feel your emotions. It is important to acknowledge your feelings and understand where they are coming from before you begin to write.

Identifying the Specific Actions or Events to Address

When writing a forgiveness letter, it can be helpful to identify the specific actions or events that led to the hurt or harm. This can help to keep the focus on the situation at hand, and to avoid blaming or attacking language. It can also help the recipient to understand your perspective.

Considering the Recipient's Perspective

It is important to consider the feelings and perspective of the person you are writing to. This can help you to tailor your letter to their needs and emotions, and to avoid coming across as accusatory or confrontational.

 Structuring Your Forgiveness Letter

The structure of your forgiveness letter is important to consider before you begin writing. It can help to keep your thoughts organized and to ensure that you are effectively communicating your message to the recipient. Here are a few tips for structuring your forgiveness letter:

• Opening with a Clear Intention, Start your letter by clearly stating your intention. This can include an apology, a statement of empathy, or a request for forgiveness. It is important to be sincere and genuine in your opening.

• Describing the Situation and Your Feelings, In the body of your forgiveness letter, describe the situation that led to the hurt or harm, and your own feelings surrounding it. Be specific and clear, but avoid blaming or accusing language. This is an opportunity for you to express yourself in a safe and healthy way, so make the most of it.

• Expressing Empathy and Understanding, Show empathy towards the person you are writing to by attempting to see the situation from their perspective. This can involve acknowledging their feelings, and taking responsibility for any part that you played in the situation.

• Offering Forgiveness and Moving Forward, close your letter by offering forgiveness and expressing a desire to move forward and heal. This can involve extending an olive branch, or simply expressing a willingness to be open and communicative in the future.

• Closing the Letter with Sincerity, end your letter with a sincere closing statement that reflects your authentic feelings towards the recipient. This can involve expressing gratitude, offering support, or wishing them well.

Tips for Writing an Effective Forgiveness Letter

When writing your forgiveness letter, it is important to keep a few key tips in mind. These can help to ensure that your letter is effective and well-received:

• Be Honest and Genuine - Be honest and genuine in your writing. This can involve acknowledging your own mistakes or shortcomings, expressing your emotions in a clear and open way, and being willing to listen to the recipient's perspective as well.

• Use Specific Examples - use specific examples to help illustrate your point. This can involve detailing specific instances of hurt or harm, or expressing your emotions through personal anecdotes or experiences.

• Avoid Blaming or Accusing Language - avoid using blaming or accusing language in your writing. Instead, focus on your own emotions and reactions to the situation, and express a desire to work together towards a resolution.

• Keep the Focus on Forgiveness and Healing - keep the focus on forgiveness and healing throughout your letter. This can involve expressing your own desire to move forward, and extending an invitation to the recipient to do the same.

By following these steps and tips, you can begin the process of writing a forgiveness letter that is authentic, sincere, and effective. Remember to take your time, reflect on your emotions, and be kind and compassionate towards yourself and others.