Chapter 2 continues: My Letter to my Inner Child

My dearest little Gerdi,

Where has all the years gone, just the other day you were a little baby, a beautiful bright eyed baby girl with a bush of hair. You drew attention wherever mom went with you, you were the baby in the family, the sister that got away with everything and also got what you wanted, yet life has been a struggle for you throughout your life. Looking at your life, it was the perfect picture, yet something was missing, the picture was not complete. What do you think was missing, can you guess? Let me tell you little Gerdi, you were missing in this perfect picture. What kept you from jumping into this beautiful, perfect picture, and instead stood and looked at it from the outside? What hurt you so much that you thought that you were not good enough to be part of this beautiful picture, why did you always battle to fit in, to be a part, even when you so desperately wanted to belong.

What happened to the little girl that prayed to Jesus and asked Him to purify your heart, why did you allow your friends to tell you that you not good enough, not pretty enough, not rich enough, not thin enough, why did you care so much about everyone else and so little about yourself. Why were you hiding, shying away from being the little girl that Jesus loves so much? In your heart you are still the little girl, with the beautiful heart, but you have learned how to behave differently around others, to be who they wanted you to be. And this just broke your heart, because your heart was still in the right place, but the way you think and your behaviour changed, trying to fit into life.

You built walls around your heart and promised yourself that no one will ever hurt you again, everything you did came from working it out in your mind. I saw how you became a stranger, and when you looked at the reflection in the mirror, did not know who looked back at you. I am sorry I could not protect you, I am sorry that no one ever saw the pain you felt, the lonely moments you experience and therefore created a magical world for yourself where no one can hurt you and the friends you created loved you for who you were.

I want you to know that you have always been good enough, pretty enough, important for the PURPOSE God has created you for. Please don't die, please don't let anyone steel your joy, the joy that you bring to other people's life is also meant for you. Believe in your beautiful heart, the heart that you promised mom will live on after she is gone. Live life with zest and know that you were born in God's imagine and do not need anyone's approval to just be YOU, Spread your wings, it is time to open the cage you built around yourself and know that you are strong enough to break free from the cocoon that trapped you for many years. Fly my angel child, but remember to always stay soft like the beautiful butterfly you have become.

From now one we will do life together, hold my hand, let's jump into that

and live the life we were destined to live.

Lots of Love

G

xx